Part Squirrel

This morning over breakfast my oldest, J-Man at 10, proposed a new theory: All girls are part squirrel.

I could live with that.

Coach

The combination of nice weather and kids home have served to moved my exercise routine down to the local middle school track. My partner and I don't always match pace and since I don't like walking alone much I often call one of the kids to do a lap with me. T, at 7, has proven to be an insightful coach.

He jogs along side me trying to get me to speed up. "Come on, Mom. You got to go faster if you want to get to your top level. Too many people think they are happy being at a low level but for you it's top 'cause you want to be your best, not all lazy and stuff."

We mark our laps in the dirt each time we pass the stairs leading to the basketball court. I told him my goal was to get to 8 laps. He said 10. Yesterday I did 6. Today 7. He shook his head in disappointment. He looked at me. "That's okay. You did your best. You can do 8 tomorrow, then 10 next time. Then you can start going faster."

Sure thing, Coach.

Music?

All the children are noisier than usual. "The natives are restless" as they say. This morning they have started earlier than usual. At 8 am my little 3 yr old princess was tooting away on her pretend trumpet, an empty paper towel roll.

I asked her to 'please, keep it down.'

Ever so innocently she responded, "I need to get the horny out."

Name Calling

Sitting out in the shade of the dusty pseudo-ranch I was bragging to Cousin Amy about how well behaved my boys were. (After all, isn't that part of what Family Reunions are for?) To prove my point I called my 7 year old over, who happen to be walking by. I asked him to please take my paper dishes and put them in the trash. When he returned I thanked him and asked him to take Cousin Amy's too. He graciously complied.

While he was in transit with her dishes she asked how I managed to teach them so well. "Not me. They get it all from their dad and the example he sets."

Returning, my son then took his dad's plate and asked if he would like more of anything. Cousin Amy was overwhelmed. (I was secretly pleased because although they are great kids, children have a funny way of behaving the exact opposite when you are trying to show them off.) Jim told our son no thank you, just to throw it away.

Now everyone's dishes were cleared so I half expected the boy to run off and play. I began telling Amy how Jim teaches the kids to call me "Queen Mom" at home sometimes. Just that moment our son returned and asked, "Is there anything else?" (What a thoughtful kid!)

Relishing in the glow of the moment Jim asked, "T, what do I tell you to call mom?"

Confusion on his face he answered with some trepidation, "Mom?"

I knew the question was awfully vague and out-of-nowhere for the poor kid to simply guess at the right answer so I searched for a way to help prompt him without supplying the answer. "Daddy means at home. What does he tell you guys to call me at home?"

I was going to add something like, "On Mother's Day he tells you to call me something special," but didn't get it out. My son's face suddenly lit up with that schoolboy I-know-this-answer pride. With confidence and exuberance he stated loudly, "Sexy!"

Needless to say, everyone laughed and I was done showing off.

Good Quotes

"Love is like a butterfly, hold it too tight and it will crush; hold it too loose and it will fly away."

"Women are to be loved, not to be understood." Chinese Proverb

"In women everything is heart, even the head" J.R. Richter

Nurturing Children VS Fast Food Discipline

Previously I had written about my newly discovered idea of "nurturing" children, and the changes in my parenting. Real change only comes when we change the way we see and interpret the world so I have continued to explore new ideas and new view points to encourage more lasting change.

Thus, today I found myself again meditating on the idea of what it means to "nurture" a child. The only other area where we talk of "nurturing" that came to mind was in our food. We talk of nutritious food and it's effects on our bodies. We know if we want to have strong healthy bodies we must eat a diet rich in good wholesome foods. These include whole grains, natural plants such as fruits and veggies- particularly leafy green veggies, and avoid processed, chemically altered, hormone treated alternatives. I'm not a Vegan, or even vegetarian, but I can see the advantages to choosing your foods with wisdom. Only through good foods over the long run can a body grow to it's strongest healthiest potential.

This does not mean one can never have a burger or pizza, but for optimum health these things must be eaten judiciously. A diet of constant fast food and junk foods makes us tired, fat, and unhealthy. (Trust me on that instead of experimenting on yourself.)

Today it occurred to me like a light going on, punishment is like fast food. Once in a while it won't hurt. In fact, it can be a great help in certain situations when used wisely. However, a diet rich in fast food, or worse- only fast food, will produce poor health with a lack of energy and vitality. Likewise a child raised on a rich diet of constant punishments rather than consistent patient loving example will grow up internally weak, unsure of himself and lacking self-discipline.

Unlike some, I do not overwhelmingly enjoy cooking regular daily meals. Ordering in or going out is so much easier. I have found though, it quickly becomes distasteful and I long for a wholesome meal. I think many of our children are longing for more nutritious upbringings. It is my new belief a steady diet of boundaries, appropriate expectations, praise for performance, good examples and a heaping of patient love will produce far better people in the long run then daily punishment. Sure it is easier just to correct the situation quickly ending the immediate problem, but pizza every night does not produce quality health.

So, I guess it is time for me to put on an apron, learn some new "recipes," and experiment with new "foods." Some will not be very appetizing, some will be good, and eventually some will be fantastic. . . .

.... and once in a while I'm sure we'll order pizza. After all, change is a process.

Be Careful with Glue

it's sticky.

Death- my thoughts

Last night we had a family lesson on Death.

We shared our beliefs with our children. We believe we were spirits before birth, children of a Heavenly Father. Then our spirits came to Earth and entered our bodies, like a hand slipping into a glove. The hand is what lets the glove move around. Even though you can't see the hand, it is in the glove. When the hand leaves the glove, it can't move around anymore. The hand is still okay, even without the glove.

We do believe in an afterlife, no reincarnation, so we had to explain how we then put the glove away cause we are done with it. We do believe in resurrection, that we will live again someday.

Last month my sister gave birth to a little girl, Stori. As I am sure you can guess she did not live long. This last week-end Jim's Grandmother passed away. We decided to have the lesson to help the children more clearly understand that these people were not going to "get better." They know I lost a brother before they were born, but still don't have the whole picture clear.

Time means so little for children. My children really only grasp "now," "soon" (meaning in a few minutes,) "later" (meaning today, but not 'soon,') and "a long time." The boys understand "tomorrow" and possibly as far as a few days. Beyond that it is conceptual. They know how to read calendars but it doesn't really mean anything. So telling them that we will see these people again "someday" might be as soon as next week for the girls, and "when we're grown up" for the boys.

For me, it seems I have reached adulthood. Days and weeks are just flying by. Time seems to be moving faster and faster. It seems just a few days ago I was bringing JJ home from the hospital. Now he's 10 and there are 4 children here. Part of me feels like, 'how'd they get here so fast?' Yet I know it will only be a blink and they will be moved out.

Too quickly it is already tomorrow and "later" comes faster. Then 'soon' is 'now' and suddenly....

...it will be gone.

Best to fill it all up with happy times and good livin'. Making memories and good experiences.

Poem of Change

Old Mother Hubbard
The cat's in the cupboard
the dog should not eat a bone

some times it is best
to sit quiet and rest
out all on your own

Wine me and dine me
tell me "be mine" me
but my will is still my own

Old Mother Hubbard
the cat's in the cupboard
the dog should not eat the bone

Though knowledge you learn
and lessons you earn
some come not on loan

Planted seeds be
and grow like a tree
cause wisdom must be your own.

Move Mother Hubbard
get cat out of cupboard
Say Good-bye to the bone


copyright Dawn McKeeth 2008

Simple, but not easy, Instructions for Life

Think less
Feel more

Talk less
Hear more

Speak Truth
In all ways

Be true to you
Honor all

Express gratitude
Seek wisdom

Give Freely
Find Light

Love all
Have Life

Do this
Know Joy

copyright Dawn McKeeth 2008